Once on television, a deathly pale Minister of Finance appeared and declared:
— The financial crisis will not affect us. Because. I’m telling you for sure.
The population, knowing a thing or two about official statements, swore quietly and went off to stockpile salt, matches, and sugar.
The next day, an extremely embarrassed Minister of Trade appeared on TV and said:
— The supplies of bread and essential goods allow us to proudly state that neither hunger nor commodity shortages will threaten us. Here are the figures.
“Oh!”, said the population and bought additional flour and cereals.
The Minister of Agriculture, for emphasis, danced on the podium and joyfully said:
— Unprecedented harvest! Hopes for export! We are reviving! The granaries are bursting!
“Wow, really!”, the population was horrified and rushed to convert their savings into foreign currency.
— Real estate prices will fall! A penthouse for every student! In the near future! – the Minister of Construction said without a grimace.
— What is going on, eh? – the population howled and rushed to buy kerosene, kerosene lamps, wood, and coal.
— A modern army on a contractual basis. Starting tomorrow. And grenades of a new system. They don’t have these in the world yet. — the Minister of Defense stated solemnly. — Well, why not? There’s plenty of money. Reserves, stockpiles, and generally a surplus.
— Mommy!… – the population squeaked and began digging dugouts.
— Everything is awe-some! Do you understand?! AWE-SOME!!! – the President insisted. — We could have built communism today already. The only thing stopping us — we’d all have nothing to do. So you can sleep peacefully! It doesn’t get more stable! Pensioners are buying caviar by the bucket! I foresee a qualitative leap, surge, and jump. And quantitatively – a full run! Taking giant strides towards prosperity and wealth. The Caribbean is getting closer. From here we shall threaten the world. A hundred and thirty centners of roses from each flower bed. We’re going to reduce milk output. Cows can’t carry their udders around. The population is outraged by the cheapness. South America is begging to join us as a state-run farm. Hurrah!
— What on earth are you preparing, you beasts?! – the population shouted and just in case changed into all its clean clothes.
M. Zhvanetsky
Hi, I'm Rauf Aliev. 