Logic
In the mid-1920s, a young Jewish man came to a well-known New York rabbi and declared that he wanted to study the Talmud.
— Do you know Aramaic? — asked the rabbi.
— No.
— How about Hebrew?
— No.
— Did you study the Torah as a child?
— No, Rabbi. But don’t worry. I graduated from the philosophy department at Berkeley and have just defended my dissertation on Socratic philosophy logic.
And now, to fill the gaps in my knowledge, I want to study the Talmud a bit.
— You are not ready to study the Talmud, — said the rabbi. — It is the deepest book ever written by mankind. But since you insist, I will give you a logic test: if you pass — I will study with you.
The young man agreed, and the rabbi continued.
— Two people go down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face, the other with a dirty one. Who will go wash?
The young philosopher’s eyes bulged.
— Is this a logic test?!
The rabbi nodded.
— Well, of course, the one with the dirty face!
— Wrong. Think logically: the one with the dirty face will look at the one with the clean face and decide that his face is also clean. The one with the clean face will look at the one with the dirty face, decide that he also got dirty, and will go wash.
— Cleverly done! — the guest admired. — Now, Rabbi, give me another test!
— Alright, young man. Two people go down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face, the other with a dirty one. Who will go wash?
— But we already figured out — the one with the clean face!
— Wrong. Both will go wash. Think logically: the one with the clean face will look at the one with the dirty face and decide that his face is also dirty. And the one with the dirty face, seeing that the second went to wash, will realize that his face is dirty, and will also go wash.
— I didn’t think of that! Remarkable — I made a logical mistake! Rabbi, let’s have one more test!
— Okay. Two people go down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face, the other with a dirty one. Who will go wash?
— Well: Both will go wash.
— Wrong. Neither of them will go wash. Think logically: the one with the dirty face will look at the one with the clean face and will not go to wash. And the one with the clean face, seeing that the one with the dirty face is not going to wash, will realize that his face is clean, and will also not go to wash.
The young man was in despair.
— Just believe me, I can study the Talmud! Ask me something else!
— Alright. Two people go down a chimney:
— Oh Lord! Neither of them will go wash!!!
— Wrong. Now do you see that Socratic logic is insufficient to study the Talmud? Tell me, how can it be that two people go down the same pipe, and one of them gets his face dirty, and the other does not?! Don’t you understand? The whole question is nonsense, as is all your philosophy, and if you spend your life answering meaningless questions, all your answers will also be devoid of sense
(stolen from the wilds of the internet)
