Sewing Struggles: A DIY Armrest Cover Saga | October 11 2024, 17:47

ME AND THE SEWING MACHINE. Yuki owns an Ikea sofa. I occasionally read on it too, but essentially, the sofa is truly his. He’s very meticulous with it (as with everything, really); we wash the covers, but over time, they began to look less presentable, and I decided instead of buying a new set for $99, I’d at least sew some armrest covers. So, it’s going to be two-tone.

Yesterday, I hopped on my scooter and zipped over to Hobby Lobby. Picked up 2 yards of fabric for 20 bucks.

Look, this isn’t my first rodeo, but I hate it every single time. How do seamstresses manage to love this kind of work? It took me 4 hours just to make one armrest cover. I’m definitely not continuing and am now switching back to the original and ordering a set.

This whole endeavor is an engineering feat, no simpler than programming, I swear. First, you have to reverse-engineer the reference item. That’s a major challenge, especially if you don’t want to cut up the item. In this case, it’s just a cover, which is simpler than, say, shorts. So, it became clear that I needed three pieces of fabric, 45×88 cm, 178×23 cm, and 30×88 cm, plus each piece must have at least 2 cm allowance on each side.

The first challenge is just drafting all of this on the fabric in order to cut it later. Especially if the fabric has a pattern. Overall, millimeter precision isn’t necessary, but what’s needed is a) straightness of the lines b) the same angle with the fabric fibers throughout the straight lines, ideally at a strict 0 or 90 degrees. This is all quite complicated to achieve, especially if you need to cut a piece 188 cm long. You spread it out on the floor, and if any section of the fabric shifts by a couple of millimeters, then there you have it, the line will be crooked. So ideally, you need to secure/stretch the fabric and then draw along it.

Then there’s the separate issue with the fabric itself. First, if you follow the fibers with your eyes, you realize the fabric, or the pattern, does indeed break up periodically, or zigzags, and you can’t see past ten centimeters. Second, the fabric might stretch. Besides that, when you try to smooth something out, it slightly increases or decreases in different places, so that straight lines aren’t straight anymore. After washing, everything will probably return, but it’s bothersome nonetheless.

Separately, what you draw with. Whatever draws on the fabric needs to be erasable afterward and thin enough so that the blade doesn’t wander. A marker might not work. Okay, if you’re drawing on the inner part, it might be okay, but it won’t work with transparent and semi-transparent fabrics.

Next, what to cut with. Scissors obviously don’t work, unless you use them as a knife, not as scissors. There is a special knife. Pretty convenient, I must say.

So, we cut it. That’s half the job, but it takes a lot of time. The rest is technically simple – sewing these pieces together. But that’s if it’s just simple sewing. Any cheapest Chinese product is five times more complex than this “simple sewing.” At least, you need an overlocker (I have one). Plus, you need perfectly straight seams, and for that, you need more skill, as at slow speeds they don’t come out right (my skill is so-so, but if not rushed, generally what’s needed is achieved).

In general, the hassle with this is such that it’s easier to give up. Ultimately, I’ll be ordering a new set. If I ever think of sitting down at the sewing machine again, please remind me that there are far more interesting things in the world, and I definitely underestimated something.

But on the plus side – I can now say that, overall, superficially, I understand how it all works. Now I’d be interested in seeing how this is automated. How they manage to produce shirts for a dollar — it’s definitely not just because the Vietnamese in the factory are working for food. Surely there’s a lot of automation involved, where problems mentioned above were solved ages ago.

Exploring Milk as an Alternative to Water in Espresso Making | October 08 2024, 20:33

I wonder, what if instead of water we used milk to make espresso?

(From the image it seems unclear to many – there is no heating, no way for it to burn. Plus, there are different kinds of milk – like oat milk, for example)

Unveiling the Soviet Rock Scene | October 07 2024, 16:54

This picture is often mentioned in the same breath as “Who does Kiss harmonize with?”, “victims of pseudo-music”, and “Liverpool ‘idols’ shearing sheep”. The text is of terrible quality, unreadable, but if you manage to decipher it, it actually turns out to be an advertisement for the upcoming Soviet-Polish festival “Thrash Epidemic” at the Gorbunov House of Culture, featuring “Master”, “Hellraiser”, “Black Obelisk”, “Abaddon”, “Mass” and other hard rock bands. So, the freedom of the nineties was still something to behold.

Text from the picture below

* * *

A familiar journalist named John, originally from foggy Ireland, with an astonished lift of his eyebrows watched the trash-metal-sex-show “Corrosion of Metal” and asked Spider (real name Sergey Troitsky) about the age restriction for attending his performances. This time, it was Spider’s eyebrows that flew up in surprise, and in righteous anger he made a historic speech about how his show is primarily meant for Soviet teenagers.

It should be noted that all of Spider’s speeches hold historical value, and if there’s a biographer who decides to follow his every step, that biographer might make a killing on the memoirs. Because history has not yet witnessed anything similar.

Spider said that children are shielded from the truth about sex, hence “Corrosion of Metal” had to take up the heavy burden of enlightenment.

WHEN all this was just beginning, Spider openly stated that Soviet education only increases the risk of naive teenagers contracting syphilis, gonorrhea, and AIDS. “Prevent this,” Spider called out and brought onto the stage a group of desperate girls tasked not only with showing an orgasm but actually achieving it on stage.

“The truth and nothing but the truth,” says Spider and adds, “the truth cannot be vulgar…”. To him, thrash appears to be the most natural musical form capable of conveying the full extent of hypersexual teenagers’ feelings.

With all this, they will take the stage the day after tomorrow at the Gorbunov House of Culture during the Soviet-Polish festival “Thrash Epidemic” (thank God it’s only – thrash!). Also there, as “ZD” already reported, will be “Master”, “Hellraiser”, “Black Obelisk”, “Abaddon”, “Mass”, and Polish peers “Vader”, “Bloodlust”, and “Slashing Death”. Starts at 15:00 and 19:30.

MEANWHILE, with the help of our photojournalist Alexander Astafyev, “ZD” offers a look not only at the stage but also behind the scenes of such a cool team as “Cor-r-rrosion of Metal”…

Photos by Alexander ASTAFYEV.

“Moskovsky Komsomolets” 29.11.1990

Dog Alarmed by Mysterious Paper Invasion | October 05 2024, 00:29

Sitting here, pressing the black-and-white keys on the first floor. Above, there is barking. Yuka, as a Shiba Inu, normally doesn’t bark at all. Well, like maybe once a year for various reasons. And now he’s giving a full serenade. I go to check, turning on the camera. It turned out that he had suddenly discovered a newly-purchased pack of printer paper opposite his couch, in a room where nothing new had appeared in his presence before. And there it was, such an aggressively white pack of paper with a whole 1000 sheets from Costco by the TV, clearly encroaching on his territory. He remained upset for quite a long time until I removed it. Later on, Yuka got to know it better. If it had been outside, he would definitely have peed on it, but inside, he just sniffed it for a long time, then cataloged it in his mind and no longer barks. That’s his exciting life.

Exploring Forgotten Sci-Fi: From Obruchev to Efremov and Beyond | October 04 2024, 14:30

I wonder, has anyone under 25 read Obruchev and Efremov? I’m curious how these would read in the year 2024. As a child, I remember being utterly engrossed. The Sannikov Land, Plutonia, Andromeda Nebula — it all seems far from mothballed, and could even be turned into a decent Hollywood movie script, but then again this is just my nostalgic impression. Generally, Belyaev, the Strugatsky brothers, and many others have been undeservedly forgotten.

Exploring Art and History: A Journey through Russia’s Cultural Legacy | September 30 2024, 00:30

Cultural page. It was a surprise to see Bryullov’s work, and not just any work, but the famous portrait of Countess Samoilova (with a black boy and a ward), which it seems everyone knows right from school benches, along with the equally famous “Horsewoman”, also depicting her. Bryullov, generally, isn’t that well-known outside of Russia, and there aren’t many of his works in museums. This Samoilova, by the way, even appears in Bryullov’s “The Last Day of Pompeii” three or four times.

Across from Samoilova, the boyars are drinking. This painting, for some reason, is entirely unsigned. It’s a large, wall-sized canvas by Makovsky, “The Boyar Wedding Feast”. It invites prolonged viewing — every detail is captivating.

In the same hall, a third surprise awaited me — a portrait of a young black man. This was Lloyd Patterson. As it turned out, this gentleman ventured to the USSR in 1932 in search of racial equality, work, and simply a better life. In the Soviet Union, Patterson was invited to work as an artist on the film “Black and White”, the idea of which was to expose racism in America. The project was eventually canceled, but Lloyd stayed in the Soviet Union, mastered Russian, and married a Soviet artist and designer, Vera Aralova. It could be said that the issue of racism helped him settle his life.

Here in the USSR, his son, James Lloydovich, was born, and this young man is the same one who played in the famous film by Grigori Alexandrov “Circus” as the son of Marion Dixon – the American artist portrayed by Lyubov Orlova.

He grew up, became a poet, a prose writer, published in the USSR. Right after the USSR came to an end, James emigrated to the USA, and has been living here, in Washington, for over 30 years now. He is already 91 years old. He recently released a book titled “Chronicle of the Left Hand: An American Black Family’s Story from Slavery to Russia’s Hollywood”.

After the museum, we went to Mozart’s Requiem at the National Cathedral. The warm-up for Mozart was the Berlin Mass by Estonian composer Arvo Pärt. Too slow for me. But the Mozart Requiem I’ve heard about a hundred times, and this was my second time hearing it live (the first time was in a church in Moscow). Still, I can’t say I was very satisfied, coming to a live performance in one of the largest cathedrals in the world: I skimped when choosing seats and ended up in the back. I should have bought tickets closer to the front. By the place we were sitting, the sound was turning into a muddled “mush.”