“Once on TV appeared a deathly pale Finance Minister and declared:
— The financial crisis will not affect us. Because. I am telling you for sure.
The population, knowing the nature of official statements, silently swore and went to stock up on salt, matches, and sugar.
The next day, an utterly bewildered Minister of Trade appeared on TV and said:
— The stocks of bread and basic necessities allow us to proudly state, that there is no threat of hunger or shortages. Here are the figures.
— Oh! – said the population and bought even more flour and cereals.
The Minister of Agriculture, for emphasis, danced on the podium and joyfully announced:
— Unprecedented harvest! Hopes for export! We are reviving! The storerooms are bursting!
— Really now! – the population was horrified and ran to convert their savings into foreign currency.
— Real estate prices will fall! A penthouse for every student! In the near future! – declared the Minister of Construction, unflinchingly.
— What’s happening, huh? – the population wailed and rushed to purchase kerosene, kerosene lamps, wood, and coal.
— A modern army on a contractual basis. As early as tomorrow. And grenades of a new system. The likes of which the world has not yet seen. – stated the Minister of Defense solemnly. – Well, why not? We have plenty of money. Reserves, supplies, and a surplus in general.
— Mom!… the population squeaked and began digging dugouts.
Everything is AWE-SOME! Do you understand? AWE-SOME!! – the President insisted. – We could have built communism today. The only thing stopping us is there’d be nothing left for us to do. So, you can sleep peacefully! It doesn’t get more stable than this! Pensioners are buying caviar by the bucket! I foresee a qualitative leap and bound. And quantitatively – it’s simply a run! Taking seven-league steps towards prosperity and abundance. The Caribbean is getting closer. From here we shall threaten the world. One hundred and thirty tons of roses from each flowerbed. We will even have to reduce dairy production. The cows cannot carry the udders. The population is outraged by the cheapness. South America is asking to join us as a state farm. Hurrah!
— What on earth are you cooking up, you beasts?! – the population screamed and just in case, changed into all their clean clothes…”
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Hi, I'm Rauf Aliev. 