Category: Humor

Parking Woes at Cocoa Beach: A Costly Oversight | July 12 2026, 13:09

Florida, Cocoa Beach. Parked the car not far from a roadside restaurant. The sign says paid parking, here’s the parking number, here’s a QR code to download the app. Took photos of the QR code, my car’s number, and the parking spot number and thought as I walked the hundred meters to the restaurant, I’d install the app and pay then. Installed it, entered the parking number, and now it’s asking for the parking spot number! Darn, have to go back. And there I was, already greeted by a parking ticket… Talk about efficiency

Navigating Online Chaos: Reflections from a Russian-Language Group | July 10 2026, 00:08

I’m writing to a Russian-speaking group every day (essentially posting the same content as in my Engineering Zen group, but slightly less often and sometimes more concisely). The audience there is 100× larger, and to put it mildly, more diverse. The comments are very typical for Russian-speaking groups and resemble this story from the net:

“…An ad appeared in one chat: ‘Selling shoes, red, size 41. Worn once. 2500 R’…”

Barely 10 seconds passed and it began:

— Worn!!!!!

— red flippers, cow.

— And how much do they cost, why is it so hard to write the price right away?!

— It should be written as worn correctly.

— I am a mother who has birthed twenty children, twenty times, I have nothing to wear to school meetings. I’m already at your house, crawling through the gutter, open the vent! Give me the shoes!!

— Burn in hell! Shoes are worn!

— Worn! Respect the language.

— WORN!!!!!!

— how much do they cost?

— One should walk barefoot. Preferably through dew, all women’s diseases come from heels. And then they complain about not getting married. Fool.

— Is the size even right?

— Treating fungus later is more expensive, just wear your own beaten-up shoes.

— Ugly shoes. And you are ugly too.

— Prostitutes wear such. When can I pick them up?

— And where do you know from what prostitutes wear?

— Make way! I’ve been a fetishist for 10 years. I’ll give 300 rubles for a picture of your feet.

— Worn!!!!!!!!¡!! ¡!!!!!! ¡!!!!! ¡!!!!!!!!!! ¡! F… s, correct the mistake, I’m having a fit already!!!

— Man, why have fetishists become so poor?

— And what’s a fetishist actually, girls?

— It’s very convenient, by the way, girls. I had such a lover, when I was tired after work, I just put a hair tie on…

— WORN!!!!!!!

— Would someone just shoot her already!!

— Where did you put the hair tie?

— You surely know where.

— Well, I don’t know, your hair tie wouldn’t fit my late husband with your thin hair.

— Did your gynecologist never shout ‘Aaaauuuuu!’ down there?

— Ha ha ha. And an owl from there replied: ‘Uh-huh.’

— And bats flew all over the office.

— You’re probably glad that he finally died, aren’t you?

— Why are you being rude?!

— Let’s go to the next thread, they are selling patent leather boots, it’s boring here.

They leave, dragging along the fetishist.

Only a lonely, beautiful, and tragically grand grammar-Nazi kept standing and standing under the post, like a monument to something great and powerful…

Exploring Ambivalence: A Review of Andy Weir’s “Project Hail Mary” | June 19 2026, 14:11

I finished reading Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir. My feelings are mixed.

On one hand, Weir is an absolute genius of hard science fiction. It’s evident that the universe is developed down to the smallest details. The author doesn’t just make up facts; the laws of physics, chemistry, biology, space navigation — everything is based on real modern scientific concepts. The problems the main character solves are logical, and following the plot development is insanely interesting. Pure delight for the inner geek.

But on the other hand… throughout the novel, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was reading young adult or even children’s literature.

For instance… Ryland Grace, the main character, behaves not like a leading scientist stranded alone in deep space on a mission to save humanity, but like a hyperactive school teacher (which he actually was). His inner monologue is filled with childlike wonder, and instead of normal adult swearing in stressful situations, he uses amusing euphemisms. And generally, the idea that a single scientist should be able to quickly retrofit a spacecraft on the fly with a “sticks and stones” approach just to make it work is – well.. that’s something.

Too tame and kind space. All conflicts on Earth before the launch are resolved suspiciously easily thanks to the “absolute power” of project leader Eva Stratt. Her actions often look caricatured, not realistic. And when the alien Rocky appears… Their friendship develops by the canons of a classic Disney fairy tale. They instantly find a common language, they have perfect mutual understanding, zero cultural barriers, or dangerous misunderstandings. Everything is very cute, conflict-free, and “on friendship.” Adding some conflict for sharpness would have been nice. Everything always goes smoothly for the main character.

Writing style. Short, chopped sentences, very simple language, chewing over every thought, constant exclamations. The text seems specifically adapted so that a twelve-year-old could easily read it. The plot moves in circles: a problem arises => Grace in panic => Grace calculates something on paper / Rocky helps with an alloy => problem solved. And so every 30 pages. Because of this, towards the end, the sense of real danger is lost: the reader knows in advance that the author has another scientific trump card up his sleeve.

As a result, it turned out to be a cool, very scientifically accurate… comic book. A kind, optimistic fairy tale, wrapped in relatively impeccable physics and mathematics. There’s definitely a lot to praise the book for, but if you’re expecting a deep psychological drama or existential horror from fiction — this is clearly not for you.

Who read it, what did you think? Did you also catch this feeling of a “kindergarten” on a spaceship, or am I being picky?

Navigating Presidential Search Results: Putin to Yeltsin and Back | June 16 2026, 01:29

If you type “fifth president of Russia”, “sixth…”, “seventh…” in Yandex, Putin comes up until the hundred first. The hundredth, too, brings up only Putin. But the hundred first – it switches to Yeltsin. And the hundred second and beyond – back to Putin again.

The Secret Behind the Iconic MacOS Sound “Sosumi” | June 12 2026, 11:47

Did you know that the MacOS notification sound had a name, and it was Sosumi? It was used from 1991 to 2020, then replaced by Sonumi. It has an author. It’s Jim Reeks — an Apple sound designer, and there’s a secret that wasn’t disclosed until 10 years after he left the company.

So, there was Beatles’ Apple Corps. The logo — also an apple. They had a lawsuit with Apple Inc. => Apple Inc. could use the name, but with no right to enter the music industry. When it came to creating OS sounds, lawyers got tense: Reeks, no names like “Chime” or anything, no melodies in the sounds. As a result, in OS appeared sounds like Frog, Funk, Glass, Hero.

Reeks worked long on the boot sound and created a C major chord 🙂 He writes that while creating the C major chord he was inspired by The Beatles’ song “A Day in the Life.” (I don’t know why I’m laughing here). He then jokingly suggested the name “Let it Beep” in the style of The Beatles song. It didn’t fly. Someone said it would lead to a lawsuit. Reeks: “So sue me”! He claims he sold it to the management as a “Japanese word, having nothing to do with music.”

In macOS Big Sur, the sound is now different — Sonumi. The sound file itself in /System/Library/Sounds/ is still called Sosumi.aiff.

Car Trouble or Just the Off Button? | June 11 2026, 01:34

If you ever need someone to laugh at, take a look: I saved 500 bucks today. I spent a month or maybe more thinking my car’s AC was dead. Went to a service station, got a quote. The stinginess killed me to repair it on the same day; I thought the car is old, I’ll find some garage service, refilling the AC with refrigerant isn’t critical.

Turns out, all this time I’ve been driving with the A/C turned off. The funny thing is I didn’t realize it in the car but while walking the dog.

Two Simple Rules for Controlling Hunger | June 09 2026, 21:33

Two rules were born that still work:

1. If you want to eat – try drinking some water. If you drink and still want to eat – see point 2.

2. Take soup or a half portion. If you ate and still want to eat – take another half portion.

P.S. Yuki said he doesn’t like the rules. He had a New York sous-vide steak with buckwheat from Cuckoo for lunch today, and in an hour, he will have cheese with wine while watching the series Succession (he always gives the wine to me). He still doesn’t understand why we sprinkle his New York steak with buckwheat with dry food.

Understanding Your Dishwasher: Hot Water Connections and Built-In Heat Exchangers | June 08 2026, 12:43

I know how a dishwasher works. I’ve fixed it a couple of times => read the technical details. In the USA, it’s connected to the hot water supply on entry. Dishwashers have a weak heating element; it increases the temperature by only ~3°C/min, so heating up a full tray from scratch takes a while. It’s a good practice to run the hot water tap to warm up before starting the dishwasher. In countries with 220V, dishwashers often heat the water themselves. Bosch has an interesting solution: a heat exchanger in the wall. While the water heats up and is sprayed by the spray arms, a new batch of water pours into the heat exchanger. Then, the temperature of the new water batch slowly rises – while the ambient temperature in the chamber gradually drops, to avoid thermal shock for glasses when switching from dirty to clean water. And additionally, the heat exchanger provides a cold surface for drying – water from steam condenses there.

And everything stops not just on a timer (or rather, not only), but also by a turbidity sensor — an aquasensor. An infrared LED and a phototransistor inside the tray. It shines a beam through the water: strong signal received — water is clear, dishes are clean, time to wrap up; weak signal — too much dirt, need to keep running. That is, the machine itself decides whether to add a rinse. It also estimates the volume and dirtiness of the load — partly by the same turbidity, partly by how much the water cools when it’s sprayed onto the cold dishes (thermal mass) => the same Auto program can last either 1.5 hours or 3.

And here’s the most counterintuitive part. You should not rinse dishes before loading them. It’s not just soap, but a cocktail of surfactants (reduce surface tension), emulsifiers (make fats mix with water), dispersants (keep washed off dirt suspended so it doesn’t settle back), and enzymes (protease, amylase). Enzymes need food to latch onto. The main dirt on dishes is not fat (handled by surfactants and emulsifiers), but dried/burnt proteins and starches – large polymer molecules, insoluble in water and just mechanically adhering to the plate. You can’t knock them off with a jet, and there’s no one to rub them off. Enzymes — biological catalysts, cut these long molecules into small soluble pieces (protein into peptides and amino acids, starch into sugars), and these bits then easily wash away with water. Protease works on proteins, amylase on starch, sometimes lipase is added for fats. If you rinse everything off in advance – they just have nothing to do, washing off idly. If the aquasensor sees clean water at the start, it decides there’s not much to do, shortens the cycle, reduces intensity. Rinsing — you make the machine wash worse (but faster). Just scrape off solid chunks and load as is.

Insight about capsules. With each drain, water also carries away the dissolved detergent, so the machine injects the main dose only in the main wash — after it has drained the dirty preliminary water. But the pre-wash compartment is open, with holes, and the detergent leaks out right away. The capsule only opens in the main cycle, so for the first 10 minutes the machine runs clean water idly and no one is dealing with the fat then. That’s why powder is better than capsules: you can charge both compartments, and the pre-wash immediately tackles the fat.