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Surreal Daydreams: Cooking Up a Fantastical Adventure | February 08 2026, 15:36

Just a normal day

So I decided to fry some eggs. I grab the frying pan, and it asks me, “Which floor?”. Unfazed, I pull a piano out of my pocket and press the brake pedal. Suddenly, a flight attendant pops out of the oven and politely asks: “Tea, coffee, or hold a brick?”. I chose the brick, because it was checkered blue and smelled of spring.

I step out onto the balcony and see — instead of a courtyard, there’s an ocean of kefir. I get into a submarine, start the chainsaw, and then a traffic cop on a dolphin stops me. He whistles into a cucumber and says:

— Why are you without a panama hat in a public place?

I show him my passport, but instead of a photo, there’s a dressed herring. He bursts into tears of joy, gifts me a cactus, and flies away on an umbrella towards Syzran.

I go back inside, wanting to put the cactus in a vase, but the vase has married a vacuum cleaner and left on a honeymoon to the mezzanine. Well, I spit, wiped the sweat away with a towel, but it turned out to be the neighbor’s cat. The cat meowed, turned into 18 rubles in a single coin, and rolled under the sofa.

I approach it, get in the elevator, sit down on a bicycle, start a motorcycle, then bang, a conductor comes up to me and says, “Sir, give up your seat”. And I say I don’t smoke. Then this kid starts crying! But I didn’t lose my cool, and hit him on the face, and he grabs his knee and screams: “My back! My back!”

I exit this electric train,

and see, there’s a minibus standing there. Well, I approach and say: “Winston Blue and 0.5 vodka”. But it gives me Bond and beer. I take this prima and moonshine, and run away from those cops! Then these firefighters caught up with me in an ambulance! Caught up and say: “You forgot your change!”. So, I take a kilogram of apples and head to the market to trade.

I bring them, haven’t even set out these bananas, right then an old lady runs up and buys all the peaches, and tells me to put them in a small bag! And I think, she’s totally insane, how am I supposed to put 20 watermelons into her bag?! I took the money and went home! Never went to the forest again… didn’t touch mushrooms… even quit smoking.

Exploring Algorithmic Stylization in Plotter Art: A CMYK Fractal Journey | February 01 2026, 04:18

Now that I have a plotter, I am fully experimenting with ways of algorithmic image stylization. To achieve what is attached, a Minimum Spanning Tree algorithm was used. Essentially, it converts an image into stochastic rasterization – that is, where it’s darker, there are more dots, and then connects the dots with lines so that all points are connected in a single network, the total length of all lines is minimal, and there are no closed loops (meaning it’s precisely a “tree” with branches, not a “web”).

And this is what I do with each of the CMYK channels, then combine the result into a color picture. On this picture, there seem to be no other colors except for these four CMYK ones, but in reality, there is a bit because some smoothing has crept in.

Printing such on a plotter, of course, is difficult, I will be waiting forever, but I am getting the hang of it, I have already printed the first color picture (it turned out so-so. Well, the first pancake is always lumpy. Comments below)

Building a Plotter from Scratch: My DIY Journey | January 30 2026, 05:43

I assembled a plotter from a kit. It’s practically a Lego set – you spill out the parts from the box and then read the manual. It worked right away. I have some ideas about what to do with this thing, I’ll tell you sometime.

Decoding Naval Terms: From “Eskadrenny Minonosets” to “Destroyer” | January 28 2026, 21:57

It turns out that a destroyer is an abbreviation of “squadron mine carrier” and that in English these ships are called destroyers.

Navigating the Confusion of Ergative Verbs in English | January 27 2026, 00:52

In English, ergative verbs cause me significant cognitive confusion. These are verbs that can be used in both directions: written, people change can be translated as “people change” and “people change themselves”.

For example, on the screenshot right now “illustrator will install next”. Somehow not will be installed next.

Or the sentence “she photographs well” is understood as “she is photogenic”.

“The book sold 1mln copies”, obviously not about the book’s ability to sell.

Tesla Model Y Conquers the Winter Wonderland: A Snowy Road Test | January 26 2026, 03:50

We tested our Tesla Model Y on a winter road in weather that almost one hundred percent of people here consider “unflyable.” I’m serious, on the way back, at 8-9 PM, we encountered the first private car on a four-lane highway after 45 kilometers of travel. Meanwhile, snowplows appeared literally every two minutes.

A lot of snow had built up, and then it started to rain. After a few hours of parking in a snowbank at a friend’s house, the car was covered with an inch-thick layer of ice. We even got a bit stuck on the exit, but together we managed to push the car out of the “snow pit”. The most challenging part is the last mile on small paths, which the machinery doesn’t clean quickly enough. Now, I’m writing at 10:30 PM, and right outside my window a tractor is clearing the driveways, while in most places, this is usually the homeowners’ responsibility, and of course, everyone prefers to wait it out. Actually, we didn’t even make it to the friend’s house because the last 100 meters were just knee-deep snowdrifts, and even walking through them was difficult, let alone driving.

Very pleased with the Tesla’s behavior on snowy roads and maneuvering in snowdrifts. Here, nobody uses winter tires (the snowy season is very short), and everyone has “all-season” tires on their wheels.

On the highway, there’s a lot of snow removal equipment, and overall the highways are in pretty good condition – the driving is very predictable, with no skidding. But as soon as you try to turn off onto a smaller road, that’s where the test for the all-wheel drive and clearance starts. Again, no surprises at all – it passes like a tank wherever needed. 627 “horses”, dynamically distributed across four wheels, apparently helps.

Tesla Ends Lifetime Autopilot: Subscription Models Rise | January 24 2026, 19:27

Tesla has stopped selling the lifetime autopilot option for $8,000, leaving only a subscription for $100 a month. I never understood people who pay these $80,000 instead of sticking with the subscription, because the subscription only equals these $8,000 after 7.5 years (considering 3% inflation), when probably it’s time to switch to a new car anyway.

But it’s interesting how much Tesla has increased the attractiveness of cars with low mileage, which have FSD, but are sold significantly below the MSRP due to being used. In fact, if you’re buying a car and seriously intend to pay for FSD, purchasing a used one could save you thousands of dollars in ownership costs.